What is the difference between equality and equity? With equality, everyone receives the same opportunities or resources where equity provides tailored resources and opportunities to gain an equal outcome.
I love this picture and I hoped that when I shared it with my boys they understood the message. What often looked like spending extra time with Ben, because of his autism diagnosis, was not loving him more, it was really me just trying to keep him alive!
Some of Ben's finer moments include, eating a stick of butter from the fridge, putting
48 cents in the A drive of my husbands computer, mailing my husbands work badge in the slot between the dishwasher and the countertop and many bathroom floods playing carwash in the sink. We always said:
"If you couldn't see or hear Ben you better go find him!"
We tried very hard to be involved in all of the things our older 2 boys enjoyed. That included many sports teams for Glenn and many art classes for Dan.
We also enjoyed being "play parents" when all of our boys found they loved theater in middle and high school.
We would find out much later that Dan often felt he could not share what he felt were big issues in his life because he saw the much larger issues we were facing with Ben at home. He felt like the problems he was facing were not as important so he just kept them to himself. I so wish I knew that at the time because we certainly wanted to support all of our children in whatever they were feeling. It is a great message to share to others earlier in their journey to encourage all of your children the freedom to express whatever is on their hearts and minds, even if it is hard to hear.
We are so grateful for our 3 wonderful sons and the men they have become with and in spite of the struggles!
Love you more...
Mom
