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I'm Sorry....

Ben and I both have the innate issue of over apologizing. It is usually the first thing that pops out of our mouths when we are not sure what to say.

Way back in my 20's I sang with a group of friends from our church and we traveled presenting concerts locally during the year and then for a week tour over the summer. One year, we learned a song "Every Promise in the Book is Mine" and during a musical interlude, each of us quoted a bible verse, one right after the other, in time to the musical bridge. I had done my verse hundreds of times but when it came my turn to speak I drew a complete blank and said "Psalm 91:1.....I'm Sorry". Thankfully, my friend Lori, didn't miss a beat and went right on with her section. I am still teased to this day about Psalm 91:1 (Which really says by the way "He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty" ) All these years later, I know it without a hitch but in that moment, nothing was there!

Recently I read something that really helped me change the trajectory of my interactions. Instead of saying "I'm sorry" replace it with "Thank you" For example, you might say "Thanks so much for waiting for me" instead of "Sorry I am running late".

I was working with a family this week helping them learn how to use an insulin pump and I noticed that mom had some of the same struggles that I had with over using "I'm sorry". I told her how proud I was of how she was handling a very challenging chronic illness with her 4 year old daughter but mentioned she might want to say "Thank you for helping mommy give you your insulin" instead of "I'm sorry I have to do this now". I reminder her that she is saving her daughter's life everyday with great care. She was immediately on board and realized the difference in the message that she was communicating and reworded her interaction right away. It is such a little thing but communicates such a big message.

I haven't completely conquered this one yet but I am more aware of it and strive to replace my words with "Thank you!"

Love you more,


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